A Southern Orthodoxy

If only it were possible to tax moronic, overblown displays of adulation.

Tomorrow is of course the most important day in American history. But with all of the talk of unity in the air and of "post-partisanship" on the mall in Washington, children were throwing shoes at an effigy of George Bush a couple of miles away. This is what I'll remember from the swearing in of The One - the stark contrast of public pettiness and petulance with moronic, gushing adulation. What ever will they do without their Bogeyman-in-Chief? Will the next natural disaster still be George Bush's fault? Oh, I forgot, the seas will cease their rising once The One is sworn in.

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I was talking with Fr. Christopher the other day about what a native American Orthodoxy would look like. Is it just something that continues to resemble the Orthodoxy as delivered to us from the mother country? Like Russian Orthodoxy in America, but with everything in English? There are some who would prefer to keep it like this, like the ROCOR folks. But Russian Orthodoxy didn't spring into existence fully-formed like Athena from the head of Zeus. It was imported from Constantinople, and had Greek cultural underpinnings. The Russians didn't keep a stylistically Greek Orthodoxy. They kept the theology and the traditions that were handed to them, but they made Orthodoxy their own, adding their own traditions, style, etc.

What I communicated to Fr. Christopher was that I was wary of being "Russified," that I was somehow being turned culturally away from an American - and more importantly southern - cultural outlook. I think this is an obstacle that Orthodoxy faces in the United States - that despite the adoption of English, Orthodoxy will still be seen as predominantly ethnic. His response was that we as Americans are even less aware of it than other Eastern Europeans. Some of the Romanians in our parish are much more attuned to how culturally Russian everything is than we are. But it is still visible to me, and it has gotten me thinking about how to affect a marriage of Orthodoxy - in myriad ethnic casts - with southern culture.

(This was the subject of a podcast by Fr. Joseph Huneycutt, a priest at an Antiochian Church in Houston and a fellow North Carolinian.)

First, I say southern culture because in my mind it is not only more germane to Orthodoxy than generic "American" culture, but I also happen to inhabit it and study it. Second, the very fact that Orthodoxy comes to us in a myriad of ethnic styles should give us heart, simply because Orthodoxy has changed wherever it has gone. Not in terms of theology, but in terms of its style. Let me be clear: I don't want Orthodoxy to make accommodations. There is no intent on my part to make Orthodoxy subject to the leveling impulse of the West. On the contrary, I intend to illustrate that the South is in many ways already almost Orthodox in its cultural leanings.

Contrary to what many cradle Orthodox may believe, the South is not a bastion of philosophical radicalism. While there are philsophical notions in the South which are alien to an Orthodox outlook, the wellspring of southern culture is conservative, hierarchical, and more religiously "orthodox" (with a little "o") than the rest of the nation. However, it is my belief that this uniquely southern character is rapidly being eroded away by a number of factors too numerous to mention here. Suffice it to say that modernity is winning out over the unique southern character - or has already won. Southern culture must find a resource on which to draw new life, because its existence is threatened by a rampant modernity. I see Orthodoxy as a possible resource for a number of reasons which I will address in greater detail in coming posts. I have yet to fully develop my ideas regarding this, but as I do I'll post them here.

It is my intent, therefore, to illustrate that the South is pre-Orthodox in order to better articulate what a cultural marriage of the South and Orthodoxy could look like.

Minor celebrities

G-boro has its minor celebrities. The ones that come most immediately to mind are Chris Daughtry, Orson Scott Card, and Eugene Chadbourne (A motley bunch, and not necessarily in that order). I also go to church with the lesser known, although highly regarded Sci Fi author, M.A. Foster. I've had my run-ins with most of the other individuals. When I was younger, I think in high school, Eugene Chadbourne walked right past me while I was leaving a grocery store. I was a big fan of They Might Be Giants (still am), and he had actually played on one of their records, so it was kind of a big deal to me. I even saw a major celebrity in the mall in Greensboro when I was in middle or high school - L.L. Cool J. - but this is about local minor celebrities, so he doesn't count. I've never met Orson Scott Card, although I occasionally enjoy his columns in the Rhino Times.

I've also written here about my run-ins with weatherman Eric Chilton. I just wish the dude would give me a call so we could go on some proper scooter rides.

Chris Daughtry on the other hand is someone who, up until the other night, I'd never met before. And honestly, of all of the above, he's the only one who could legitimately claim a "celebrity" status of recognizability and (unfortunately) the ability to induce squees from fangirls. Daughtry came to BAM practically incognito - he's sporting a full beard now - and pulled down tight over his shiny futuristic shorn head was a light blue toboggan. I honestly wouldn't have recognized him had a female coworker not at first realized who he was. "ZOMG, Daughtry is in the store!" She approached him and begged him for an autograph for her mother - who was a huge fan - and Daughtry was happy to oblige. I was the only register open, so he came up and bought a book on how to draw comic book characters - presumably for his son. The dude paid in cash, out of a light blue wallet that matched his toboggan. Let me say that again: The dude carries a wallet that matches his toboggan. And like, OMG, I touched Daughtry's hand when I gave him his change!!111one!!!

After he left I realized that he'd left his empty coffee cup on the counter. It had Daughtry's mouth-print on it. I tried to sell it to some folks, telling them that it was Daughtry's coffee, and that it made it possible to engage in a second-hand kiss with Daughtry, if that was your pleasure. No one wanted it. I thought about putting it up on Ebay also, but I think the period of Daughtry mania has subsided to the point where such wouldn't be viable.

The Doctah is in

Doctor who?

Who could have guessed that the 11th Doctor would be nine years old and look like the lead singer for Flock of Seagulls? Me. Well, sorta. I had a feeling Doctor Who would continue its progression toward a point where it merely existed as fodder for fangirls. This new guy, Matt Smith, confirms that DW is continuing down the path of squickiness and effete metro boys. Smith is guaranteed to tickle the fancy of the "Twilight" set, which seems more and more to be the dominant DW audience. Would it be too much to ask for a Doctor that we, as nerds, can look up to as a wise, almost fatherly figure? Someone like William Hartnell or Tom Baker? At least give us someone who is old enough to be the father of a sizable portion of the audience! This Smith fellow is my age. I can't enjoy a Doctor who is 26 years old.

But the biggest insult of all? He's white. I'd been hoping for a black Doctor for some time now. I fantasized about a blaxploitation style restyling of DW. And let's face it, all of those pasty-faced Brits - God love 'em, and I'm from that stock - but sometimes they (and I mean we) just tend to start looking like aging lesbians. Black dudes on the other hand always look cool - generally much more so as they get older. I was thinking an Isaac Hayes type dude would be just right. I got excited when I heard Paterson Joseph was being considered and thought that he just might have a chance in this year of "Change" and "Hope." But no, we get another pasty, androgynous metro boy. Apparently the BBC has yet to enter the post-racial world the rest of us enlightened souls have entered by so bravely electing The One.

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I'm having my wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday. I'm still teething a little bit because they keep pushing. I'm off three days next week to recover from the operation. The day I'm having them out - Tuesday - is Theophany. I spoke to Fr. Christopher about my inability to come for liturgy on Theophany because of my teeth and he offered to pray for me and anoint me with oil. I wasn't aware I was eligible to receive this anointing as a mere catechumen, but I am grateful for it. God willing, I won't have any complications and won't be totally laid up from the pain. Now if I only had someone to offer ministrations to me in my afflicted state afterwards.

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Two versions of the same tune. Weldon Irvine's "Music Is The Key:"



And Bernard Wright's version: