All shook up

Apparently we had a small earthquake this morning; 2.6 on the Richter. 'Twas no New Madrid, but any sort of seismic activity this far east of the Mississippi River is pretty extraordinary. I didn't really feel anything. Well, at least I don't remember it (I tend to be roused every morning by the opening of the garage door that is directly under my bed, which feels like an earthquake each and every morning anyhow).

I had an odd dream last night. I was living out in the country and my neighbor was this crazy Colombian guy (think typical drug lord) who had a huge junkyard behind his house filled with all sorts of cool stuff that people like myself like to rummage through (think vintage roadside kitsch from the 1950s and 60s). Well, for some reason I decided that I'd go and rummage through his stuff. Out of nowhere he appears and starts shooting at me with a pistol. I took off running through his yard, which was enclosed by rows and rows of barbed wire, towards my house. Paying no attention to the rusted barbs of the wire, I dove right through the stuff and emerged magically unscathed on the other side.

Did you know that the Namennayo cats have been around since 1981? It's their 25th anniversary. Click on the above link for further proof of the decline of western civilization.

Turnip Farm

My internet was out all last week and it just came back today. Apparently, four houses were running off of the same wireless hub doohickie and Time Warner claims they didn't know this was the case. My cousin called on either Tuesday or Wednesday of last week about the matter and the jackasses said they'd come by on Thursday.

They didn't come.

He called again and they said they'd be here on Friday.

They didn't come.

When Monday rolled around we called again; they told us we were scheduled for a visit that day and that they'd be over around 8:00 pm. We were informed this job required a special crew of Time Warner special operatives. Well, 8:00 rolled around and nothing.

Yesterday around 2:00 my cousin's dog, Maggie, starts barking at something back in the woods. It was the special operatives. They had infiltrated the backyard without our knowledge. The wireless connection came back, but we were informed a crew would have to come out and bury some new cable tomorrow.

For our trouble we are supposed to receive 3 weeks of internet access without charge.

I just finished grading 60 midterm exams and 30 3-4 page essays. I must say that I am hella dismayed by the writing skills of college students. Some of these papers don't belong in middle school, let alone college. Let me offer you an example:

"This helps people understand why the German forces were so hard press to keep fighting and trying to protect itself from the aggressors, and not show themselves as not a soft people to walk all over but as a people that will need to be shown with equal power in the European World sphere."

I was distressed by this particular student's committment to portraying the Germans in the First World War as the victims of French and British aggression. The student refers to the "German right to live" at one point; I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's slightly disturbing. The writing is atrocious to say the least. At first I thought this fellow might not be a native English speaker, but I have since learned that English is his native tongue. After I learned this I didn't know how to grade his paper - it's so bad that I felt some mercy might be in order. Perhaps I'll recommend that he be kicked out of college altogether.

Are remedial courses offered at universities?

Note to T.A.'s: Do NOT look up your students on Facebook. It will only bring further despair.